The Letter of Intent Trap — Why Parents Struggle, and What Works Better
Apr 21
3 min read
By Michael Pearce, J.D.
Founder of Shiftfuturecare.com and Vestlife.com
For over 30 years as a special needs attorney, I watched parents pour their hearts into planning for their child’s future. They’d draft wills, set up special needs trusts, and navigate a maze of planning meetings—all to ensure their child’s safety and well-being.
But when it came to one document in particular—the Letter of Intent (LOI)—most parents froze.
The Illusion of the Letter of Intent
The LOI is supposed to capture everything only a parent knows: your child’s routines, preferences, medical history, communication styles, and more. On paper, it’s a brilliant idea.
But in real life? It rarely gets done.
A 2011 report by MetLife’s Center for Special Needs Planning found that the vast majority of families hadn’t completed a care transition plan.
And in my own experience? Out of over 1,500 families I worked with, I can recall only five ever completed a Letter of Intent. That’s 0.33%—one-third of one percent of the clients I worked with!
One mother even handed me her 20-page LOI and asked me to shred it. It had become outdated—and possibly harmful.
So if almost no one completes one… why do so many attorneys and advisors keep recommending them?
The Real Reason Parents Don’t Finish the LOI
Let’s be honest: the Letter of Intent is overwhelming.
It asks exhausted parents—already managing direct care, transportation, therapies, advocacy, finances, and more—to write a comprehensive manual for their child’s life. And then keep it updated. Forever.
That’s not just time-consuming. It’s emotionally taxing.
Writing an LOI means confronting hard truths about aging, uncertainty, and what life might look like after you’re gone.
And if you do manage to write it? The information can quickly become outdated, hard to find, or impossible for new caregivers to digest.
This isn’t a failure of the parent. It’s a failure of the system.
A Better Solution: Vest
That’s why I stopped recommending the LOI to clients years ago.
Instead, I created Vest(Vestlife.com) —a secure, digital web app designed to replace the outdated LOI with something better:
✅ Easy to update
✅ Secure and shareable
✅ Built for real-life caregiving
✅ Accessible by care teams when needed
Vest allows you to store and share key information about your child—from medications to emergency contacts to personal routines—without the burden of writing a novel.
Why This Matters for Your Peace of Mind
I’ve since retired from practicing law, but I’m still working every day to help families move toward better outcomes.
My new company, SHIFT (shiftfuturecare.com) offers Care Transition Planning services that guide parents step-by-step as they move their adult child with disabilities into care outside the family home.
This transition is one of the most emotional and difficult decisions a parent will ever make. You shouldn’t have to do it with outdated tools like binders, bankers boxes, and static pdf files.
The Bigger Problem with the LOI
Here’s the hidden risk: when professionals recommend the LOI without supporting the parent to complete it, it can create:
Guilt
Overwhelm
A false sense of preparedness
Some parents feel like they’ve failed if they can’t finish it. Others finish it once, only to watch it become irrelevant months later.
Meanwhile, professionals might assume “the plan is in place” and stop asking deeper questions—leaving real transition planning incomplete.
What We Need Instead
Care transition planning for your child doesn't need to be perfect. But it does need to be sustainable.
Tools like Vest—and care coordination strategies like those we use at SHIFT—make information more accessible, updateable, and useful to everyone involved in your child’s future care when you won't be there.
It’s time to move past the illusion of the LOI and toward something that works in real life.
Because your child deserves, and must have, a well-informed care team. And you deserve peace of mind that lasts longer than a file folder.
🔗 Learn More
Explore Vest: The Digital Alternative to the Letter of Intent
Learn about Care Transition Planning with SHIFT
🧭 Ready to begin? Start by scheduling a free SHIFT consultation—your first step toward building a plan that gives you permission to breathe.
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I hope this helps,
Michael